BLURRED LINES
Rating: PG-13 to R
Genre: Drama,Angst
Pairings: Akame, PiKame, JinDa & JunDa
Chapter 1
Chapter 2: His Façade
----------------------------------------
The soundless night enveloped his heart, his eye fixed only on those lips untaken. In his mind, he wanted to believe that perhaps, he was the first. The first kiss, Yamashita truly hoped it was him. Buried in thick blankets, in his large bed, it felt warmer than usual. In fact, he could call this the warmest night he had ever had. Warm because he had someone to share with it, he thought.
Moving in a bit closer, just staring at that person he now had beside him. He was taken by surprise as the smaller boy shifted in his sleep, unconsciously facing him, thus their faces simply an inch apart.
It was then when he kissed him.
----------------------------------------
It was only lately that people began to notice how different he had become. He talked more often, laughed more often and smiled more often. The people around him find it quite remarkable.
Nishikido asked him once about it, a bright smile graced his face. He took in a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling.
“It’s because I’m in love.”
He said. Ryo shook his head and did not find the reply amusing. He did not believe in love, or so he claims. He patted Yamashita on the back and left for the bathroom, shaking his head as he left. He was mocking him.
Tomohisa laughed to himself, to cover the pity he began to feel while watching his friend walk away. He was quite tragic, for Nishikido, it was too late to start believing in love. When the one person who loved you back leaves you in the end, it was too late to believe.
Everyone said that he was now a disillusioned young man.
Walking in the noisy corridors, blissful, ignoring the chaos that surrounded him. He smiled once more, arms placed behind his head and began to sing out of tune; something that no one was accustomed to.
It was because he was in love.
It was afternoon then, when Kamenashi had called him up for tea, fumbling about on Kazuya’s doorstep, seeing if the cake was alright, he was caught by the other boy checking his breath the very moment he opened the door.
“Do you like strawberry shortcake?”
He asked raising the bag he had with him, the younger man tilted his head down and chuckled lightly. It was common courtesy for the other to bring something sweet. Kamenashi’s mother welcomed him gladly, setting down wooden cups filled with warm green tea on top of the small coffee table in the living room.
The affection he received from his friend’s family overwhelmed him at times, it made him feel truly part of something. Only his smile could express the happiness he found with this family.
Each slice of cake was placed carefully on decorated china. Kamenashi’s mother even boasted on how it was the first time she took them out since her wedding. The room rang with soft laughs and chortles.
He poked his piece of cake with the silver fork, cutting through it gently; making an inexplicable face of delight as the soft sponge cake melted in his mouth. He truly enjoyed sweet things. Kazuya found it quite amusing whenever he saw him enjoying himself simply over good cake. Someday he might have to bring Yamashita cake to his home too.
“It feels good whenever I come here. Everyone’s so nice.”
“Eh? No way. The house is so stifling and the people here get so moody all the time. Before you came mom was scolding me about how I always leave the wet towels on top of my bed after I use them, it’s pretty annoying if you ask me.”
Yamashita laughed and Kamenashi glared back at him.
“It’s not funny.”
“Yes it is.”
He took time to chew his piece of cake, pretending to ignore how Kamenashi snapped back at him viciously. He remembered how his own house was so different compared to his. He could never call his house a home.
Never.
As a child, he awakened to a life that was far more controlled than any environment his friends had grew up with. He was deprived of many things. After becoming a Johnny, it became worse. Everything he did, he did as to what he saw compliant of what the people around him wanted to see.
He acted the way the fans wanted him to act, he spoke the way he wanted him to speak, and he became what they wanted him to be.
He turned himself into an empty shell that could always take the shape to fit what every girl imagined. He took shape of whatever it was the people thought he should be. Until now, he had never really been sure of what he really was supposed to be.
“Thank you by the way, for letting me spend the night in your place last night.”
“Stupid, I don’t mind. Just don’t go and start falling all of a sudden. You worried me.”
“Sorry.”
“I was— really worried.”
Apparently during one of those busy days of shooting Nobuta, where the people chattered endlessly during lunch break; the younger boy, without warning collapsed down to the concrete floor. It caused quite a commotion, but it was seen to it that it would create no public clamor. It was later found out that the younger boy had stressed himself too much.
He choked out a bit, and put his hands together as the scenario played over and over again in his mind. His face slightly contorted, confused on what it was that he was supposed to say. He wanted to say how he cared about the other, how Kazuya meant something to him. He was frustrated, he could never tell him how taking him for who he was and making him part of his life, perhaps not as a friend but something close to being a friend– meant to him. He could never tell him those things, not at a time like this.
Not when he knew how Akanishi felt about Kazuya. Many times had he refrained himself from jumping on a chance that he may never have again, reminding himself that would he ever be the friend he claimed to be if he took that one chance with Kazuya.
Not at a time like this.
“Yamapi, you look great these days.”
“I do? Oh yeah, I do.”
“That’s strange. You seem to be looking better day after day. How come?”
Kamenashi asked rather teasingly, a hint of deviousness laced in his voice. He smiled again and once more just like earlier that day with Nishikido, looked up to the blank ceiling and took a deep breath.
“It’s because I’m in love.”
“Stop lying!”
----------------------------------------
Author’s Notes: I am now fully aware that I am capable of churning out buckets and buckets of angst. Anyway thanks for the initial comments, I truly appreciate them! I hoped you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. There are so bits and pieces that hint on the grander scale of this story so I hope you found that interesting because I’m actually— experimenting OMG! XD *scares people away*
Rating: PG-13 to R
Genre: Drama,Angst
Pairings: Akame, PiKame, JinDa & JunDa
Chapter 1
Chapter 2: His Façade
----------------------------------------
The soundless night enveloped his heart, his eye fixed only on those lips untaken. In his mind, he wanted to believe that perhaps, he was the first. The first kiss, Yamashita truly hoped it was him. Buried in thick blankets, in his large bed, it felt warmer than usual. In fact, he could call this the warmest night he had ever had. Warm because he had someone to share with it, he thought.
Moving in a bit closer, just staring at that person he now had beside him. He was taken by surprise as the smaller boy shifted in his sleep, unconsciously facing him, thus their faces simply an inch apart.
It was then when he kissed him.
----------------------------------------
It was only lately that people began to notice how different he had become. He talked more often, laughed more often and smiled more often. The people around him find it quite remarkable.
Nishikido asked him once about it, a bright smile graced his face. He took in a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling.
“It’s because I’m in love.”
He said. Ryo shook his head and did not find the reply amusing. He did not believe in love, or so he claims. He patted Yamashita on the back and left for the bathroom, shaking his head as he left. He was mocking him.
Tomohisa laughed to himself, to cover the pity he began to feel while watching his friend walk away. He was quite tragic, for Nishikido, it was too late to start believing in love. When the one person who loved you back leaves you in the end, it was too late to believe.
Everyone said that he was now a disillusioned young man.
Walking in the noisy corridors, blissful, ignoring the chaos that surrounded him. He smiled once more, arms placed behind his head and began to sing out of tune; something that no one was accustomed to.
It was because he was in love.
It was afternoon then, when Kamenashi had called him up for tea, fumbling about on Kazuya’s doorstep, seeing if the cake was alright, he was caught by the other boy checking his breath the very moment he opened the door.
“Do you like strawberry shortcake?”
He asked raising the bag he had with him, the younger man tilted his head down and chuckled lightly. It was common courtesy for the other to bring something sweet. Kamenashi’s mother welcomed him gladly, setting down wooden cups filled with warm green tea on top of the small coffee table in the living room.
The affection he received from his friend’s family overwhelmed him at times, it made him feel truly part of something. Only his smile could express the happiness he found with this family.
Each slice of cake was placed carefully on decorated china. Kamenashi’s mother even boasted on how it was the first time she took them out since her wedding. The room rang with soft laughs and chortles.
He poked his piece of cake with the silver fork, cutting through it gently; making an inexplicable face of delight as the soft sponge cake melted in his mouth. He truly enjoyed sweet things. Kazuya found it quite amusing whenever he saw him enjoying himself simply over good cake. Someday he might have to bring Yamashita cake to his home too.
“It feels good whenever I come here. Everyone’s so nice.”
“Eh? No way. The house is so stifling and the people here get so moody all the time. Before you came mom was scolding me about how I always leave the wet towels on top of my bed after I use them, it’s pretty annoying if you ask me.”
Yamashita laughed and Kamenashi glared back at him.
“It’s not funny.”
“Yes it is.”
He took time to chew his piece of cake, pretending to ignore how Kamenashi snapped back at him viciously. He remembered how his own house was so different compared to his. He could never call his house a home.
Never.
As a child, he awakened to a life that was far more controlled than any environment his friends had grew up with. He was deprived of many things. After becoming a Johnny, it became worse. Everything he did, he did as to what he saw compliant of what the people around him wanted to see.
He acted the way the fans wanted him to act, he spoke the way he wanted him to speak, and he became what they wanted him to be.
He turned himself into an empty shell that could always take the shape to fit what every girl imagined. He took shape of whatever it was the people thought he should be. Until now, he had never really been sure of what he really was supposed to be.
“Thank you by the way, for letting me spend the night in your place last night.”
“Stupid, I don’t mind. Just don’t go and start falling all of a sudden. You worried me.”
“Sorry.”
“I was— really worried.”
Apparently during one of those busy days of shooting Nobuta, where the people chattered endlessly during lunch break; the younger boy, without warning collapsed down to the concrete floor. It caused quite a commotion, but it was seen to it that it would create no public clamor. It was later found out that the younger boy had stressed himself too much.
He choked out a bit, and put his hands together as the scenario played over and over again in his mind. His face slightly contorted, confused on what it was that he was supposed to say. He wanted to say how he cared about the other, how Kazuya meant something to him. He was frustrated, he could never tell him how taking him for who he was and making him part of his life, perhaps not as a friend but something close to being a friend– meant to him. He could never tell him those things, not at a time like this.
Not when he knew how Akanishi felt about Kazuya. Many times had he refrained himself from jumping on a chance that he may never have again, reminding himself that would he ever be the friend he claimed to be if he took that one chance with Kazuya.
Not at a time like this.
“Yamapi, you look great these days.”
“I do? Oh yeah, I do.”
“That’s strange. You seem to be looking better day after day. How come?”
Kamenashi asked rather teasingly, a hint of deviousness laced in his voice. He smiled again and once more just like earlier that day with Nishikido, looked up to the blank ceiling and took a deep breath.
“It’s because I’m in love.”
“Stop lying!”
----------------------------------------
Author’s Notes: I am now fully aware that I am capable of churning out buckets and buckets of angst. Anyway thanks for the initial comments, I truly appreciate them! I hoped you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. There are so bits and pieces that hint on the grander scale of this story so I hope you found that interesting because I’m actually— experimenting OMG! XD *scares people away*
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