BLURRED LINES
Rating: PG-13 to R
Genre: Drama,Angst
Pairings: Akame,PiKame,JinDa,JunUeda
Author's Notes: Yay! Something to add to my unfinished fics. *killed* A re-write of Quartet, I was quite unsatisfied with how I started the fic so I came up with this. Much darker and a lot more angst than I usually make them.
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Whistling a tune he had heard so long ago, he walks the streets mind clouded with visions from the past. Never being able to let go, not being able to stop loving, this is why; never would he be able to gain the happiness that he sought after.
Happiness with the person you loved. He believed that he was deprived of this longer than anyone has been. To hunger for affection from someone who truly hated him, to ask pity from the one person who now loathed him. There was really never a choice but to let go. This was the truth that he would forever ignore, he choose to be miserable.
Visions of old, wishing to relive those moments he cherished. While drowning his sorrow in liquor and bringing home a woman for fleeting pleasure laughing as they enter his apartment, his mind still wanders off to that one place that he could never return to.
Akanishi Jin lived in the past and relished in the unattainable.
And with that coming into his mind, as he slept with that woman he took to his bed, pretending to cry in pleasure and moan in ecstasy, the frustration builds up and the loneliness catches unto him, he couldn’t help but call out that other person’s name in his mind. He couldn’t help but wish he were somewhere else.
He couldn’t help but wish he could change the past.
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He wakes up to an empty bed, it has lost its warmth. His large hands wanted to hold someone, waking up lonely, it wasn’t the best feeling. He sighs and lifts himself up, hands supporting himself as his eyes searched the surroundings of his room. It has been too quiet.
Never bothering to dress up, Akanishi always thought that there was nothing to be ashamed of, walking in his own home naked, he found nothing wrong with it. He walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat, opening the cupboard for instant ramen.
“You really have no shame.”
A calm voice from behind him said. To be calm while seeing him, Akanishi Jin naked was a feat, a feat that was often credited to only one, Ueda Tatsuya; the person most tolerant. Tolerant to the point of being apathetic, that was Ueda Tatsuya.
“How did you get in here?”
“Like I always do. You always seem to forget I have a spare key.”
The taller man chuckled leaning his back on the cold marble counter, arms crossed across his broad chest and eyebrow raised. He was as arrogant as ever. So different from the pained man he was inside.
Tatsuya frowned, and then sighed. Carefully placing the paper bag he brought with him on Jin’s glass top dinner table. Jin gazed at the said paper bag, slightly curious on whatever it’s contents maybe.
“Soup.”
“Eh?”
“My sister made soup last night; she wants you to try it too.”
Ueda had the strangest, and sometimes most insignificant reasons as to why he came over or why he did such things. Akanishi opened the paper bag, lifting the plastic container. He grunted as he shifted the liquid inside, eyes scrutinizing the matter carefully. Jin was a picky eater.
“It’s cold.”
“Then warm it up.”
“Eh? You bring cold soup and now you want me to warm it up myself?! How cruel—”
Ueda rolled his eyes and Akanishi laughed. It was quite painful to laugh for him though, at a time like this, it was definitely hard to laugh. He was glad he was able to get good amusement with teasing Ueda. Tatsuya then smacked him on the head, quite hard.
“Warm it up.”
“Yeah I will.”
Ueda threw him a bathroom towel, quietly laughing at the ridiculous scenario of his best friend, naked in front of the electric stove. The scent of the woman still lingered in his friend’s apartment. It was that scent, Tatsuya was all too familiar with it every once in a while during his visits, it wasn’t surprising to encounter the dizzying aroma of violets.
“She was here again, Jin. Yes?”
“We’re going out.”
“I see. But why? Going out with someone you don’t like, doesn’t really seem like something you’d do.”
“Is that so?”
Akanishi laughs, Ueda laughs. Everything sounded like a bad joke, they thought. Of course, it was certainly a bad joke. Jin Akanishi only desired one person. Ueda like all good friends; knew of this.
“I guess I am a bit strange.”
“It’s okay. I’m strange too. Everyone’s strange.”
Jin could only reply with a weak smile, almond eyes dull and lifeless. It was by mere instinct, or mere habit had Ueda always walked to his side when Akanishi began to look so frail. Cupping the taller man’s face in his palms and staring deep into those sad eyes. It was the only comfort that Tatsuya was ever able to give him through the years.
Against everything.
Just to be at his side; that was the best Ueda could do for him.
Akanishi stared back, perplexed, at a loss of what it is he’s supposed to say. Ueda knew all too well what was going on, his friend knew him better than he knew himself. He was cornered. Like when you’re standing at the edge of the cliff cornered, two choices become apparent. To choose whether you plunge down or to step back and run away. None of those choices were truly to be desired.
Eyes glazed with tears that he refused to cry out. No man should ever cry, he told himself. No man should ever embarrass himself. So with the heavy rise and fall of breathing, shaking fists and shifty eyes, he told himself never to bring himself down to a level that he would embarrass himself. Never.
No matter how much it hurt. He wouldn’t let it out. Saddened by this resolution Jin had placed himself upon, Tatsuya could only smile wistfully back at him…Then, hugging Akanishi as if he were a child. Ruffling the taller man’s hair, stroking his face gently with slim fingers, followed by a chaste kiss on his forehead, Ueda smiled back again. He wanted his friend to stop hurting himself.
“You should do whatever it is that you like.”
“So then, would it be okay if I cried?”
“It’s okay.”
Rating: PG-13 to R
Genre: Drama,Angst
Pairings: Akame,PiKame,JinDa,JunUeda
Author's Notes: Yay! Something to add to my unfinished fics. *killed* A re-write of Quartet, I was quite unsatisfied with how I started the fic so I came up with this. Much darker and a lot more angst than I usually make them.
----------------------------------------
Whistling a tune he had heard so long ago, he walks the streets mind clouded with visions from the past. Never being able to let go, not being able to stop loving, this is why; never would he be able to gain the happiness that he sought after.
Happiness with the person you loved. He believed that he was deprived of this longer than anyone has been. To hunger for affection from someone who truly hated him, to ask pity from the one person who now loathed him. There was really never a choice but to let go. This was the truth that he would forever ignore, he choose to be miserable.
Visions of old, wishing to relive those moments he cherished. While drowning his sorrow in liquor and bringing home a woman for fleeting pleasure laughing as they enter his apartment, his mind still wanders off to that one place that he could never return to.
Akanishi Jin lived in the past and relished in the unattainable.
And with that coming into his mind, as he slept with that woman he took to his bed, pretending to cry in pleasure and moan in ecstasy, the frustration builds up and the loneliness catches unto him, he couldn’t help but call out that other person’s name in his mind. He couldn’t help but wish he were somewhere else.
He couldn’t help but wish he could change the past.
----------------------------------------
He wakes up to an empty bed, it has lost its warmth. His large hands wanted to hold someone, waking up lonely, it wasn’t the best feeling. He sighs and lifts himself up, hands supporting himself as his eyes searched the surroundings of his room. It has been too quiet.
Never bothering to dress up, Akanishi always thought that there was nothing to be ashamed of, walking in his own home naked, he found nothing wrong with it. He walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat, opening the cupboard for instant ramen.
“You really have no shame.”
A calm voice from behind him said. To be calm while seeing him, Akanishi Jin naked was a feat, a feat that was often credited to only one, Ueda Tatsuya; the person most tolerant. Tolerant to the point of being apathetic, that was Ueda Tatsuya.
“How did you get in here?”
“Like I always do. You always seem to forget I have a spare key.”
The taller man chuckled leaning his back on the cold marble counter, arms crossed across his broad chest and eyebrow raised. He was as arrogant as ever. So different from the pained man he was inside.
Tatsuya frowned, and then sighed. Carefully placing the paper bag he brought with him on Jin’s glass top dinner table. Jin gazed at the said paper bag, slightly curious on whatever it’s contents maybe.
“Soup.”
“Eh?”
“My sister made soup last night; she wants you to try it too.”
Ueda had the strangest, and sometimes most insignificant reasons as to why he came over or why he did such things. Akanishi opened the paper bag, lifting the plastic container. He grunted as he shifted the liquid inside, eyes scrutinizing the matter carefully. Jin was a picky eater.
“It’s cold.”
“Then warm it up.”
“Eh? You bring cold soup and now you want me to warm it up myself?! How cruel—”
Ueda rolled his eyes and Akanishi laughed. It was quite painful to laugh for him though, at a time like this, it was definitely hard to laugh. He was glad he was able to get good amusement with teasing Ueda. Tatsuya then smacked him on the head, quite hard.
“Warm it up.”
“Yeah I will.”
Ueda threw him a bathroom towel, quietly laughing at the ridiculous scenario of his best friend, naked in front of the electric stove. The scent of the woman still lingered in his friend’s apartment. It was that scent, Tatsuya was all too familiar with it every once in a while during his visits, it wasn’t surprising to encounter the dizzying aroma of violets.
“She was here again, Jin. Yes?”
“We’re going out.”
“I see. But why? Going out with someone you don’t like, doesn’t really seem like something you’d do.”
“Is that so?”
Akanishi laughs, Ueda laughs. Everything sounded like a bad joke, they thought. Of course, it was certainly a bad joke. Jin Akanishi only desired one person. Ueda like all good friends; knew of this.
“I guess I am a bit strange.”
“It’s okay. I’m strange too. Everyone’s strange.”
Jin could only reply with a weak smile, almond eyes dull and lifeless. It was by mere instinct, or mere habit had Ueda always walked to his side when Akanishi began to look so frail. Cupping the taller man’s face in his palms and staring deep into those sad eyes. It was the only comfort that Tatsuya was ever able to give him through the years.
Against everything.
Just to be at his side; that was the best Ueda could do for him.
Akanishi stared back, perplexed, at a loss of what it is he’s supposed to say. Ueda knew all too well what was going on, his friend knew him better than he knew himself. He was cornered. Like when you’re standing at the edge of the cliff cornered, two choices become apparent. To choose whether you plunge down or to step back and run away. None of those choices were truly to be desired.
Eyes glazed with tears that he refused to cry out. No man should ever cry, he told himself. No man should ever embarrass himself. So with the heavy rise and fall of breathing, shaking fists and shifty eyes, he told himself never to bring himself down to a level that he would embarrass himself. Never.
No matter how much it hurt. He wouldn’t let it out. Saddened by this resolution Jin had placed himself upon, Tatsuya could only smile wistfully back at him…Then, hugging Akanishi as if he were a child. Ruffling the taller man’s hair, stroking his face gently with slim fingers, followed by a chaste kiss on his forehead, Ueda smiled back again. He wanted his friend to stop hurting himself.
“You should do whatever it is that you like.”
“So then, would it be okay if I cried?”
“It’s okay.”
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